My New Career as a Porn Star
This past Sunday was the GLBC "Non-Denominational Holiday Party." The restaurant industry never gets to have a holiday party over the actual holidays, you see, since it tends to be one of the busiest times of times of the year. I guess it really could have been a Groundhog Day party. Oop, happy anniversary, Deb and Jim.

So we had a raffle at the party. Everyone got one ticket for attending the party, and then we had the opportunity to buy more tickets at $5 a shot. Prizes ranged from gift cards from Target, to "fart alarms," to DVD players, to a large cash pot of nearly $600. One of the prizes offered was a game called Dirty Minds, where players hear three suggestive phrases and need to guess the mundane thing that they are describing.

Example:
"I'm the wettest spot on the planet."
"I smell fishy."
"You can plunge into me."
Answer: THE OCEAN, you dirty old coots!

The executive chef's lady was running the raffle, and my husband was hamming it up as "Her Lovely Assistant." Just as Rick pulled the ticket for the game he announced, "Who's the lucky PORN STAR to go home with this fine prize tonight?"

And wouldn't you know it. Yep. He pulled my ticket.

I slowly raised my hand to claim my prize. The crowd roared. My face burned.

And if that wasn't horrifying enough, I missed the cash prize by one ticket. D'oh! Luckily, liquor heals all wounds, and at a non-denominational holiday/Groundhog's Day party thrown by a microbrewery, there tends to be a lot of booze. We had a very fun time, although we did NOT play the game when we got home.