Friday, January 24, 2003

Nobody Light A Match

Today I went to fill my tank and in the course of withdrawing the nozzle from my car, I managed to dribble gas on my pants. (Stop snickering, gutterbrains.) So I had to spend the rest of my workday smelling like Cooter's Garage. Not very pleasant. To top things off, the pump didn't print my receipt, so I had to go inside to get it. (Why even have Pay-At-Pump?) The clerk ignored me for about a minute while he stocked cigarettes and chatted with his "supervisor"--also ignoring me--about knocking off early. I finally get to ask if he can print a receipt.

"Yeah, I can print one."


"Do you need one?"

What the f? "Yeah, I need one."

"Oh, you missed my joke. I was being funny. You asked 'Can I print a receipt,' and I said, 'Yeah, do you need one?' You must not be in the mood for a joke today."

Yeah, sorry buddy, missed that golden nugget.

Work Work Work
Jeez-La-Petes I am busy. My husband laughs at me when I use that phrase. I don't know why. It sounds so worldly and sophisticated. French, even. Although I do believe it is the unholy union of "Jeez-o-Petes" and "Jeez Louise."

I have work coming out of my ears right now, which caught me a little off guard. Granted, this business does tend to pick up at the beginning of the year, but I wasn't expecting to go from zero to J-L-P in one week. So far I'm slated for a trip to Portland and yet another one to Baltimore, both of which they want me to complete before our convention which is at the end of February. It'll be a tight squeeze as I am writing a new advanced training curriculum, conducting regular training seminars and preparing my schtick for convention. All this AND no pay raise. Hmmm.

Rick is very busy, too. He has class four days a week, one of which runs from 8 am - noon twice a week. Which wouldn't be so bad if he didn't close the restaurant the nights before and after. But he likes his classes a lot. Most of the students are all his age or older, and compared to the knowledge level of his classmates, Rick has now determined he is the "Smartest Person in the World." Until he gets home. Then, of course, he has to reliquish that title to me. Or one of the cats. Whichever one of us is conscious in the living room at the time. (There has been A LOT of napping in our household lately.)

It's All About the Benjamins
We've been working with a financial counselor. This is the true litmus test for adulthood. It's all very scary, too, baring your most intimate financial secrets to someone, who, in the end, just wants to sell you life insurance. But I keep hoping there will be some magical way to eliminate our mounds of debt. Rick was going to put our debt on eBay. It was a pretty good idea, I thought, although I was a wigged out a bit by privacy logistics. The text was going to read something along the lines of "Young married couple looking for a fresh financial start," etc., etc., "looking for a gift of x dollars to cover our accumulated debts," etc., etc., "In return you'll receive an autographed picture of ourselves, and a permanent place on our Christmas card list." Pretty snazzy, eh? Only problem was that there is a rule on eBay saying you have to pay a percentage of the highest bid back to their site. So if someone put in a fake bid--and most likely ALL of them would be fake--we'd still owe a substantial hunk o' cash to eBay. Which certainly wouldn't help our debt.

Friends of Bilbo...or Spock...This Is For YOU!
My friend Dave just emailed me this gem. It is hilarious.

I know we haven't updated our pictures yet. There will be more SOMETIME THIS YEAR. That I can promise.

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