Saturday, March 15, 2003

Grocery Store Observations

Today I gave out beer samples at the supermarket. I'm surprised at how many people turned down free beer. Actually the samples were a quarter a piece. An odd OH law says you can't give away alcohol samples. Other rules must apply for communion.

You are a privileged observer when you hand out samples at a grocery store. You get to see what's in everyone's carts. Lots of people are eating lots of yogurt. And Smart Ones. And the corned beef on sale just in time for St. Paddy's Day. Some people had no carts--they preferred to run in for just the essentials. Milk. Tampons. Hamburger buns.

A young couple apologized for having beer other than mine in their cart. A man with a cane mulled over the ingredients in a can of Fancy Feast for 10 minutes. Someone about your mom's age baffled at her husband's disappearance amongst the aisles: He's too tall for me to lose him. A lady with a pie asked Do you know where the Ready Whip is? Sorry, I don't work here. I pointed to my T-shirt.

A pregnant lady handed a two-pack of chicken kabobs to the butcher to rewrap--she only wanted one kabob. A married man chatted at my booth for so long that he jumped and forgot all about his 6-pack when his wife tapped him on the shoulder. Hunched over her cart a gray-haired grandma politely waves away a sample: I'm too young.

Blushing 15-year old stock boys grinned and asked to help clean up the beer when I was done. What color is the Irish Ale? I held up a sample for a woman in nurses' scrubs. Looks like urine. She turned quickly and muttered to her purse I shouldn't have said that.

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